i would like to dedicate this post to two of my brothers.. johnny and ti. they're really great people.. lol. they seem like they really care for me.. and make me feel special... yeah

and yeah, my toe nail is fucked permanently i think.. the one that came off and was "regrowing".. well.. today played basketball it bruised and is bleeding..

i'd love to have a a white 3G iphone as a birthday gift.. lol

have nothing.. to gain everything

these are one of the moments i feel so useless in my life. I don't have any classes. I am not working. I am home in Mustang all day, everyday doing nothing. I wish I had a job this summer. I would go on a shopping spree or something. I also don't have a car.. My car is still being "fixed" but I went to a wedding on Saturday and saw my car parked 2 cars away from the car we took to the wedding. The guy that is fixing my car was at the wedding.. he must've drove it to the wedding.. wtf, eh? My mom's car is messed up, it won't start and is just sitting its ass in the garage.. and my parents take the truck to work.

Other things have been occurring in my life that adds the frustration and "piss off" factor into my daily summer routine. It makes me wants to stomp on babies, twist puppies' heads, or just watch the world burn! Good thing BC wasn't around or he would encourage me.. but seriously, I have all this anger and stuff that I wish i was working or in Norman or something so I could get my mind to focus elsewhere.

I decided lately probably 98% of females carry a trait I dislike so much.. not a trait I'm saying would bother me just in a relationship but would bother me as being a friend or just acquainted to the girl.. females talk talk talk and talk when it benefits no one, not even themselves and they don't realize it actually hurts other people in some manner, large or small, and the loop closes. There's really nothing I can do but be angry at myself for trusting any kind of female with any bit of information I find as "secret" or "important" and feel like i can entrust this bit with this "friend" or whatever of mine.

I realized my high school years were what I enjoyed so much. The past few summer were what I loved and adored. They were everything I would want. I honestly would give up my lifestyle now, anything, just to be given that another chance. I would give up drinking for the rest of my life.. I would even commute home to Mustang everyday from Norman. That is how i truly feel.. but don't live in the past.. because the past has forgotten you. The present is sitting with you.. and the future is waiting outside.

first party at Taiko house.. interesting

i had a dream i was preparing for a big soccer game.. and i was wearing a sports bra.

"how many girlfriends have you had, tan?"

well i wish it was zero


waiting to come back to norman.. so i can feel happy

the OABA venue has been bought from OKC basketball team for practice facility.. i can tell ppl i played there.. OKC "thunder".. wtf?

" i told my girl when you fcuk me you better fcuk me good, 'cause if another girl could she gon' fcuk me good"

now let me tell you about an interesting experience.. kevin asked me to go hang out with him at his co-workers hang out thing to grill some food.. because theyre the co-workers that are cool with each other and finally have work off at the same time or whatever.. so kevin decides to make eggrolls at this guys house. so we go buy the stuff. we went to cao nguyen, cafe oasis, then went to target.. i dont think i ever been in a target.. its pretty cool lookin.

so we finally get to this guy's house. and we meet the ppl there... and we start making eggrolls. all those guys get excited and stuff. i was thinking to myself if these suck ass they would probably still think theyre good. turns out everyone liked the eggrolls when the eggrolls kinda sucked. it wasn't bad.. but nto really good.. later more ppl weird.. just weird. what's weird is just i never really hung out with white ppl and its weird the 2 asian ppl are making eggrolls and the other guys are watching a poorly dubbed jet li movie in the living room.

yea there were some girls there for a while.. overall an experience

no.. i'm not constipated Mr. Smart Ass.. but it might be Maybelline

danny said he might come over again this summer.. he's a cool guy. i don't like to tell anyone they're cool because they might get a little full of themselves.. but he's a loyal friend. he's down for anything, anytime man! well, it just feels good he still calls and stuff. sure beats the asses that dont even call just because they think.. lol nvm

this week should be interesting.. especially the weekend. this week is the last week of class and tuesday i only have one class.. i just need to study a bit.. not even that. just do my homework and write a research paper which i could do in 30 min or so.. lol then i'm out.. summer school kinda sucks but not really because it kept me somewhat busy this summer.. no, not really.. because the classes were nothing the only time it took out of me was going to class really..

this weekend.. there will be a rush meeting.. then Phi d carwash.. i don't know if i will be going to that.. i have no car.. and if i do drive my mom's car i dont think i want to drive that far for it.. but i will see.. then there is this date auction thing some ppl from my high school are having at lee's sandwiches for cancer. i might go to that but.. i dont know. i probably shouldnt. then friday night is partayyy! honestly i dont know if i want to go to that either. then theres a wedding saturday i think.. and exactly a month until fall semester begins.. wahoo.. not really.

watching the dark knight for the 2nd time didn't give me that same feeling.. but i still enjoyed it. it's just that 2nd time that i realize the movie was really long.

i think if i were a superhero i think i'd like to be batman. i don't really think i can start from nothing to a something.. i think i would be born into a wealthy family and then inheriting all of the wealth.. i would be already wealthy.. so i could focus on other things.. like revenge.. and technology. i think i would be the alone type. as bruce wayne i couldn't show my true self to the world.. but as batman i could be whatever.. i was born with no spectacular powers.. it'd be nice

after today something really bothers me inside.. something really, really bothering the inside of me. am i upset.. am i sad? am i expecting something..? i notice that i don't really get that angry anymore for those small foolish things.. but something is really bothering me.. and i've got to find out

hey.. why so serious?

well i found out the puppies are probably pitbulls

just got back from retreat.. it was nice hanging out. if only we went clubbing at a place that was cool..

2 more weeks of school...

dude i just got some new puppies.. i think theyre 4 week old labs or something. my mom just picked them up cause someone was giving them away.. i'm not sure how committed my parents are in taking care of these puppies.. they're pretty cute though.. their mom died from a snake bite.. they cry and whimper and stuff.. its so sad.. =(

"will you still love me in the morning? forever and forever babe"

the tragic story of Romeo and Juliet has influenced and inspired the world for centuries and countless have loved it.. but who wants to really live it?

the coffee prince drama was pretty good. its about this girl that is the head of her family and she works a lot to support her mother and younger sister. she works so much she does not care for herself that much and she looks like a guy. she later found a job at this coffee place but did not reveal her gender because they were only hiring males. she fell for her boss and her boss became attracted to her, too but he thought she was a guy. i wonder how that would make me feel.. it would probably drive my crazy. i would question my sexuality and be scarred for life.

i've been having weird dreams lately. the thing is i don't remember my dreams usually. i know my dreams don't really follow a plot or anything. certain people become others at different times. a certain girl may suddenly become another girl (or even a guy?) at a different point in my dream. there is a part of the dream that i vaguely remember, reading a text message and there was a name that came up but i wish i could remember it. i remember i woke up after reading the text message and told myself to remember the name but i forgot. the name isn't a particular person i know but i remember it was interesting. it was a short, and unusual name i have never seen. there may have been an h, an x, m or something.

i miss that feeling when you first fall in love, or infatuation or whatever it is. i don't miss it, but i do remember it is a great feeling.. it feels better than any drunken night, or just.. anything. those nights you would stay up on the phone all night, until like 4 in the morning. there are times you wouldn't even be talking about anything but you're just on the phone, and there is just a certain comfort to it. you would just lay on your bed, with the phone between your ear and your pillow. it kind of hurts but her soft breathing would make any torture feel like pleasure. its so pleasant that some nights you refuse to hang up even if there is obviously nothing to talk about. you both refuse to admit that you are sleepy as hell just so you can stay on a little longer, as if you were afraid the other would call someone else afterwards. there would be times that you would fall asleep while on the phone and you would wake up in the morning and thought it was a dream because it was so nice to be true but you see your phone underneath your pillow and you look at the calls and realize it was real.. you still can't believe it.. and then she calls you to say good morning or might be angry in a cute way.. griping at you why you didn't answer on the phone as she was trying to say goodnight to you. you try to explain to her that you fell asleep accidentally.. you try to explain to her that it wasn't because she was boring, but it was because her soft, beautiful voice had a certain harmonic tone to it that soothes you like a nice lullaby. does this feeling.. only happen once in a lifetime?

i was watching the drama and it said the times that you suffer from heartbreak or "love" will be the greatest times of your life.. you will be older and you will look back into those times and remember. because you are young and full of youth you will recover nonetheless and shouldn't linger around, especially if you realize your situation. i don't understand how people realize and understand their situation and might even say they attempt to do something about it but they just keep letting themself sink in deeper and deeper and just causing more hurt in the future.

i like say(all i need)//one republic.. its pretty cool. i want a mini cooper now. and a VESPA!!

its already july.. in about a month.. things will get interesting!

i've been bored. school sucks.. i've been watching The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince.
its pretty interesting.. kinda makes me want to open a cute coffee shop

hopefully i can go to retreat >.<

okay i finished the drama. its pretty cute.

that strange feeling you never left

well i am back.. aren't you glad?

san antonio is alright.. sea world is pretty overrated in my opinion, or i just went the wrong time with wrong group of ppl? i think it would've been better if we weren't so tired. the riverwalk isn't much since i've been there but it has a nice feeling at night. i think it would've been so much more fun if the fireworks were supposed to go off like it was supposed to. the cafes and restaurants next to the river had a nice feeling like vietnam. the tables were big enough for drinks and people just carried on conversations and stuff.. pretty cool.

we went to corpus christi.. the beach look pretty shitty to me. the weather was getting bad too.. its all rainy and shit. we went to this other beach which was better, or so we heard. its called rockport.. i admit it look really nice. the sand was nice and clean and the water was clear and there were A LOT of ppl there.. but as we paid the 4 dollar to get in and park.. we got off the car it started raining like crazy.. chairs were flying and shiet it look like a hurricane so we headed back to the hotel.

thats pretty much it.. sunday woke up early headed home but stopped by dallas for like half a day. we ate at pho ban.. i had rice cause we had pho the day before at a shitty place in san antonio.. cause apparently there are no asian communities out there.. but anyway i saw a cute girl.. she might be too young for me.. cause i dont think kids my age go eat with their parents.. she might be 15 at youngest.. but pretty cute.. later went shopping for food then galleria.. i wanted to buy some clothes.. but they were expensive so i didnt.. but i did talk my dad into buyin a digital camera!! yea its like a year too late to have one but its a pretty cool camera.. and got some thongs to wear..

now i'm home and it felt like i never left.. dont you get that feeling when you go somewhere

in San Antonio.. our hotel room is pretty nice. we were downtown suppose to watch fireworks.. there were suppose to be fireworks but didnt have it for some reason.. disappointed.

its already been 4 years already.. the 4th of july 4 years ago.. already.. looking forward to retreat.. if i do go.

oh yea, i'm looking for this vietnamese song.. its prob old.. maybe 2 or 3 year old. its sung by a group of girls and one guy i think.. its about the guy and he is in love with 2 girls.. something about old feelings keep him with the girl he is with now but new happiness and hurt want him to be with the new girl or something.. maybe tiep would know but i want to know this song!!

i think i finally understood the meaning of being happy for someone else.. someone that you care about. like for instance, when something good happens to been and its something cool.. i feel happy for him.. speaking of binh.. he's a jackass haha

anyway today i did nothing.. i was supposed to do homework and study but i am doing that now.. procrastination at its finest. i took a nice little nap today and went to the bank. went to otrip to ball for a bit and then mow the freakin lawn. i did enjoy it at the beginning of summer now it kind of sucks ass because i dont have an mp3 player.

well tomorrow i will be heading out! it will be pretty nice to escape from this shitty place.. i cant wait till fall. it will be bad ass.. bad ass!!! i still wish i had a job though. it would make my boring summer go by faster and i would have a lot more money than i have right now.. trying to save up for a motorcycle but most likely a scooter thing

so theres this cute girl in class.. the thing is i found out she is married.

so i just happened to land on xanga and found the Tau Kappa Omega blogring. its interesting going through the guys' blogs.. which are the older guys because only the older guys would have a xanga. i would like to say.. i saw tiep's xanga and i read pretty much every entry.. i think i got tiep figured out from reading his entries. school takes up a good portion of his life.. as long as basketball.. and the occasional girl. school, basketball, and the occasional girl. yep.

i kind of wish i still had my xanga. i deleted 3 years of stuff just because of one day of FURY. i mean, i have a xanga but i only made it for a class assignment. i think i'm going to start reading the guys' xangas to learn more about their lives in the past.. i think i might read tony's next.. or BC.. but preferably someone i don't have the chance to talk to

oh yea and today in class we watched Little Miss Sunshine.. all i gotta say is I liked it. i like the weird humor.. i appreciate humor