slow dancing in a burning room

i was debating whether if i wanted to keep blogging in this thing because apparently quite a few people read this thing. i like writing or whatever so whoever that is reading this should feel fortunate because this is probably the most i reveal to anybody about my superstar life!

anyways, i'll sum up the last couple days or week or whatever. i went to akdphi installs/lambdas formals. i was sober the whole night until the end when i took a couple shots of 151 within minutes. it was so crazy, i felt my life flashing before my eyes. Just kidding, but my body started going down real quick. i left pad thai and then i pissed outside, i hope no one saw. cing took me home and bought me some chalupas. we were at the drive-in and cing was complimenting how i didn't throw up that night and then i opened the door and threw up at the drive-in! lol cing took me home and didn't leave until i fell asleep.

i realized i have like the best littles ever. chris bui has this understanding of me. when i ask anything of him he never hesitates to do it. we have the same interest when it comes to drinking and things like that. we're beginning to learn more about each other more. he knows that i like steak chalupas from taco bell, especially after i drink. there was something yesterday that surprised me and made me feel good inside. during the thanksgiving dinner with phi d, we had these name tags we wore with our names. i wrote a name tag for him that said 'tan is my favorite big' and annie (his other big) took it off and threw it away. he put it back on later. last night annie and chris were sitting next to each other and i came over and annie said something big and little something. later chris bui opened his wallet and showed me he still had that name tag from thanksgiving! hehe how sweet, huh?

cing is so cool because she's so funny and unique. she always has something to say or whatever and it just makes me feel really happy inside. she's awesome because she takes care of me when i'm drunk. what more can i ask for? she is also really to talk to about girl problems and stuff. she has a lot of insight and seems pretty knowledgeable about relationship stuff.

this semester has gone by so quick. its really weird because as we grow older the time goes by faster. when i was younger i used to look forward to things, although it may be small things. i can't say this semester was the greatest semester ever but i'm kind of glad happen the way they do. i've met so many new people that are so cool, which are pretty much the new taikos and phi d girls. its kind of bittersweet because it makes me feel that my time is over and i am starting to feel old now, although i'm only 19. i also had some goals this semester that were going really well but three fourths the way i neglected these goals and lost complete focus. i've also began picking up some really bad habits, and i can somewhat feel them contributing to my declining health in the long run. i'm not crazy about anything because i can control when i still do these certain things. hmm maybe new year's resolutions?

things are the way they are simply because there is a reason. i think if you knew things you would understand me and the things i do a little more. i do admit the things i do sometimes may seem immature or selfish. its something i've been struggling with for quite a while and i don't see any end to it soon. sometimes moving on is really hard, when you're a loyal person. i wish i could control the things i feel and the circumstances i'm in but sometimes situations are out of hand and feelings/emotions are just something thats almost impossible for me to control, although i'm pretty good at keeping it inside, it doesn't mean i don't feel it. sometimes its hard to express things; but i really do care for you.

now i'm just at home enjoying my break, which is all i could ask for. although life is going by pretty quick at this point and sometimes you wish you could stop time, this break is probably the next best thing. just to slow things down a little, reflect, and invest some time into things i couldnt do otherwise. some plans i do have include christmas shopping (which i havent even began yet!!!!), which also means i have to wrap these gifts, gah. i'm probably going to dallas the weekend of christmas with my family, my parents friends and her daughter. i also plan to read twilight, which seems gay huh. i'm also going to be watching movies, preferably romantic comedies because that's my favorite genre.

yesterday i rented four movies from family video. i rented the american rendition of my sassy girl, made of honor, 27 dresses, and what happens in vegas. i watched my sassy girl and made of honor last night and might watch the other 2 tonight. i was hesitant to get my sassy girl, but i got it only because it was a free rental. family video is a really cool place to rent movies. its cheaper than blockbuster! and plus new members get half off rentals for 30 days. AND lets say you had a member ship in norman (like me) and your 30 days ran out, you go to mustang family video and its a complete new membership, so you can get 30 days more of discount! perfect for me because of break, and i plan to watch a lot of movies.

anyways, i watched my sassy girl, and of course i didn't like it as much as the original. i didn't find myself hating it or anything possibly because some scenes it tried to copy scene for scene from the original. for instance, the guy saved the girl from the train, taking her home, the line game with the right or left foot, the piano playing of pachebels canon, and stuff like that. honestly, i didnt like the movie much. i felt kind of awkward watching it.

as for made of honor, i actually liked it. it wasn't bad..

so i'll be home a lot this break, and if you feel like if you want to watch a movie or play ps3 games with me, then give me a call!

btw, i kinda sorta miss you.