so friday was our taiko house party. well first of all, friday. i woke up receiving a phone call with someone asking me to do something that was going to take the whole day. i was to take some of the kappas to skydiving training because one couldnt go saturday in time for the training. so i obliged and fortunately CT was going with me otherwise i wouldn't know the way. we were supposed to leave around 2:30 but didn't leave until 4:30 i think. we were eating in the union and then took lukes car and it overheated or something so we had to come back and switch cars.
the car ride was somewhat interesting. we managed to arrive at cushing by 6 o'clock. we saw waz there and he gave the kappas a very quick training session. it lasted about an hour and a half, i think? on the way home we stopped by mcdonalds and ate some food. we arrived in norman at about 10ish. i went home and changed and stuff and then headed to the house. i was kind of disappointed because i had plans with my little that night to come up with a punch thing for the party but we couldnt because we went to cushing.
anyways, i was impressed with what was going on at the taiko house. it was fairly early so there weren't any people over yet. some of the brothers and the kohai were preparing for the party. we had the omega red sign being fixed and i saw the lights in the house. there were more decorations on the walls. i like how the house is falling together nicely. we had a nice patrolling and shuttling system that worked out nicely. its nice hearing compliments on that. we also received compliments on our bar, too.
at around midnight or 1 people began coming it. the house was pretty packed. something i really liked about the night was how the gender ratio was. usually you go to a party and theres like a male to female ratio of about 3:1 or something but that night it was literally the other way around! or at least it seemed that way because the only people that were dancing were girls! i think its better that way because my theory is i think girls like dancing within themselves because theyre out to have fun with their own girlfriends, or whatever. i tried dancing that night but i was caught up in drinking. i usually don't have the confidence to dance unless i have a certain amount of alcohol in my system. to hit that certain "good feeling", you have to drink a very careful and certain amount, otherwise you might still be too sober or might be drunk, and you won't be having a good time but might be loud, obnoxious, or whatever.
when i was dancing i didnt reach my "good point" so i went to drink some more but i didnt realize that i had passed the point i was aiming for so i never went back to dance. the thing about me and dancing is i don't like it that much. i feel like after a year or plus of college and tko, i think i have the confidence to dance with any girl, even if it takes a certain amount of alcohol in my system. what i've been struggling is there is only one girl i care for, but no matter what i drink or what environment it is, i don't have the confidence to dance with her. no matter how "good" my alcohol level is, or even how confident or loose i am that night, i can't do it.
ironically, at every party during the party, i try to avoid and ignore her. i don't even have the confidence to say anything. i avoid eye contact, and even sometimes i may even seem like a jackass trying to ignore her. its not that i don't want to talk to her or even work my "game", but i don't want to say anything stupid that i might regret the next day. this is a girl that i try to impress or whatever, which i know i don't have to impress anyone, but i can't help it. even though i usually drink a lot and get shit faced, i don't think i ever lost my cool. i never really got angry or emotional. the thing is i think if i were to ever talk or communicate with this certain girl in any way, i might lose my cool or even getting emotional or something. when i am drunk, i notice little things too easily and overanalyze too much.
anyways, another point i want to make is i smoke only on occasion. it was something i began to do during a low point in my life, yes it was stupid but i don't think i have any addiction. i don't smoke packs of cigarettes a day. i smoke only at some parties, and its usually when i hit a certain alcohol level in my system. there are only parties (that i'm invited to) about once in a month or two, and i don't even smoke at every party. i smoke about 2 or 3 black and milds and/or primetimes or stuff like that. i think when i smoke at a party its more like a "checkpoint". its when i think to myself and analyze what happened in the night up to thus far. its when i realize how sober i am and if there is anything i need to do, and try to remember how much i drink and stuff. its also a thing that my big and i do. smoking may be somewhat the result of my emotional being, but not all a bad thing!
there was something about this party that i tried that was new. no, its not drugs but i kept a list of what i drank that night. its pretty stupid if you see a guy writing down on a piece of paper after he drinks something. i did it to keep track of what i drink, because the past parties i got shitfaced and don't remember anything i drank. i think this drink list thing was a pretty good idea until i lost the pen at some point in the night.. hahah. anyways, here is my list:
1 effen black cherry thing
1 grey goose w/lil sis cing
1 soco and lime w/big tiep
1 soco and lime w/lil bro chris bui
1 effen
3 delta punch
1 shot of something
2 parrot bay
1 jello shot w/ li2z and her sisters
1 TKO shot (??)
1 crown with the homies
1 beer from keg
1 root beer (??) i later figured it was crown and root beer
thats all i have up until i lost my pen. i also made this list because there are always people saying they drank so much at a party but they seem completely fine. people say stuff like "yeah, i had 15 shots and i'm completely fine" that sounds kind of bullshit to me. this is also something that is kind of proof, but has flaws in itself. for instance, i could just add and write shit down that i didnt really drink. to fix those flaws in this system i could have the "bartender" or whoever i'm taking a shot with sign my paper and write down who i took it with or whatever and maybe even put down the time. that sounds like a lot of trouble but i might do that the next time i drink.
another thing relating to the party. if you are not a TAIKO, please keep our fucking warcry out of your motherfucking mouth. i know you love Tau Kappa Omega because we are the shit and throw bad ass parties but don't yelling our fucking warcry at YOUR party, or our party. we wouldn't go around saying your shit, and i don't think you would appreciate it either.
i did end up throwing up at the end of the night but i think it was because i was eating a chalupa. i think i would've been fine if i didnt eat the chalupa. later i ate another chalupa and threw up again too. i admit i was pretty drunk, though. a good thing about me is i only get really fucked up and throw up at the end or after a party is over, not during the party, so thumbs up for that!
the next morning i woke up on the couch under the TKO seal with a chalupa in my arms. i think i was sleeping awkwardly but i woke up to johnny's voice telling me to wake up. it was about 10am. he took me home so i could shower and stuff because i was.. dirty. after that, we met up at the taiko house again and waited for the rest of the people to come so we could leave to cushing to watch the kappas jump.
i rode in chris bui's truck but slept most of the time so yeah. we reached cushing and then went to the KFC buffet. man it was good but i wasn't feeling well because of a slight hangover that i had from the previous night. we later went back to the place so they could complete their training. it seemed to go by so quick because before i knew it, they were jumping. to my surprise, chris bui was going to be the first to jump. i was the first to jump in my class so it kind of made me happy. so we went out to watch them jump and chris bui came out of a plane, then floated, then he landed on his feet. cool, huh? anyways, thats all that matters. we went back to the taiko house to watch the OU football game.
saturday night we just watched the game and then have some birthday spankings and then drinking games and some singing and football throwing and stuff like that. I stayed up until like 5 or 6. I slept at the taiko house even though i didnt want to. i woke up around noon but kept sleeping and didnt really leave until like 4. chris bui and tim were over for something. so now i'm at my place and really hungry. i think i will go to the union and hang out with charlie because he can always put a smile on my face. i'm also goingn to buy some taco bell too.
sometimes i feel like i care too much when i need to care for myself more. i think its really time, that i give up. i'm not getting anything in return. i don't feel appreciated. sometimes you don't even see me. i just thought we were closer than this but its okay. who cares what i think. "thanks" is all i ever get. "thanks" is just a word. well, here you go. "thanks".
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2 comments:
Cam on.
weak shots
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