Let me share with you a great experience...
Today I was in the union and I noticed a lot of noise at Crossroads. I stopped by and noticed it was a soccer game.. or should i say Futbol. haha.. it was chelsea vs liverpool. So.. i followed Hieu and Tammy to wendy's but later I came back to watch. I noticed all the different nationalities there watching the game. The game was pretty exciting. It was OT. Chelsea made a goal but it was offsides. They later got a PK and made it. They made an amazing goal sometime afterwards. Liverpool was trying to counter and finally made a goal that slipped through the goalie's hands. Through this excitement I noticed the different people conversing and arguing and cheering together. These people came from different parts of the world but this one universal sport thing called football or soccer in our country brought everyone together... yep. it was cool.
afterwards I was in the south oval just laying on the grass under a tree with emily tammy and johnny. It was pretty awesome.
later we went to sake for li2z's and luannes bday. yeah..
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
dead week's not so alive, eh?
I went to asian league basketball thing yesterday. I went to Charlie's afterwards and spent the night there. I had a very good sleep because I had a beer.
Today I went to class and stuff. It was gay like always. I tried going to the student success series shit but I was "late". Actually I went to the first one 15 minutes early and it wasn't good enough. So I went to the second one with BJ 30 minutes early and it was still not good enough. Damn it.
Afterwards just hung around the Union until Li2z's birthday thing at Pepperoni Grill. I took Emily with me and the Ft. Smith exit thing was closed so we went another way. I got a little "lost" but it was okay. We ended up going a little north and just turned around.
The table was pretty lively. It was good to see old friends with some new faces mixed in there. Yeah. I had the ribeye thing. It was alright. Eh...
Drove home with Emily. I've been a terrible driver lately for some reason. My mind wanders and I almost hit cars and stuff. Well, I am at Charlie's right now and I am about to study. FCK SCHOOOOOL.. ugh. I might have myself a beer, though. =) Oh yeah, Party this Friday, BABYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! I will drink until I am senseless.
Today I went to class and stuff. It was gay like always. I tried going to the student success series shit but I was "late". Actually I went to the first one 15 minutes early and it wasn't good enough. So I went to the second one with BJ 30 minutes early and it was still not good enough. Damn it.
Afterwards just hung around the Union until Li2z's birthday thing at Pepperoni Grill. I took Emily with me and the Ft. Smith exit thing was closed so we went another way. I got a little "lost" but it was okay. We ended up going a little north and just turned around.
The table was pretty lively. It was good to see old friends with some new faces mixed in there. Yeah. I had the ribeye thing. It was alright. Eh...
Drove home with Emily. I've been a terrible driver lately for some reason. My mind wanders and I almost hit cars and stuff. Well, I am at Charlie's right now and I am about to study. FCK SCHOOOOOL.. ugh. I might have myself a beer, though. =) Oh yeah, Party this Friday, BABYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! I will drink until I am senseless.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
blehhhhhhhhhh
after going to the shooting range with Charlie I just slept there and did stuff. Later went with Tammy and Peter to music festival. Almost everyone had a beer. It was most tempting. We went to eat at Taco Bell afterwards. We stopped at Charlie's for a bit then went to some recital they had to do for class. Turns out it is at 10 am instead of pm. Good one, Tammy.
Afterwards we went to Charlie's then I went to shower and then went to Chris's birthday party. I told myself I was going to go nuts. Disappointing myself, I didn't really go nuts. I did do something I don't usually do. I ended with a cuban cigar and I found myself smoking it. I've tried smoking before and it is pretty shitty but it didn't really taste much because I was buzzed from the alcohol, I suppose. I spent about a whole hour trying to finish that cigar because I didn't want to waste it. I was outside the whole time just trying to finish it. I finally finished it and went inside and drank and stuff like that.
Some of us went to Denny's afterwards. I remember it was a really quick meal because I was asleep. It was weird closing my eyes for a few moments and waking up and Trung appeared from no where. I was dropped off at Charlie's and fell to sleep. I woke up refreshed even though it wasn't a long sleep. I drove home to mustang to do laundry and help mow the lawn.
I was planning to get really trashed last night because I didn't want to think about things and I was going to do something that I might've regretted. It wasn't going to be anything stupid or unlawful, just something I should probably do when I am sober. Anyways, I didn't get as "nuts" as I wanted and in the end I kept thinking about things I didn't want to think even more. Its that amount of alcohol in me that just makes me try to think really carefully and cautiously about things. For some reason it makes me really really logical even though physically, I am retarded.
Well, I am home and hungry. Fortunately I'm not hungover anything. My plans for today is just to eat, do laundry, go to Norman, go to the basketball thing and might play, then study for finals. School is pretty much over so I must finish strong. Ugh.. I taste the smoke in my mouth. Later
Afterwards we went to Charlie's then I went to shower and then went to Chris's birthday party. I told myself I was going to go nuts. Disappointing myself, I didn't really go nuts. I did do something I don't usually do. I ended with a cuban cigar and I found myself smoking it. I've tried smoking before and it is pretty shitty but it didn't really taste much because I was buzzed from the alcohol, I suppose. I spent about a whole hour trying to finish that cigar because I didn't want to waste it. I was outside the whole time just trying to finish it. I finally finished it and went inside and drank and stuff like that.
Some of us went to Denny's afterwards. I remember it was a really quick meal because I was asleep. It was weird closing my eyes for a few moments and waking up and Trung appeared from no where. I was dropped off at Charlie's and fell to sleep. I woke up refreshed even though it wasn't a long sleep. I drove home to mustang to do laundry and help mow the lawn.
I was planning to get really trashed last night because I didn't want to think about things and I was going to do something that I might've regretted. It wasn't going to be anything stupid or unlawful, just something I should probably do when I am sober. Anyways, I didn't get as "nuts" as I wanted and in the end I kept thinking about things I didn't want to think even more. Its that amount of alcohol in me that just makes me try to think really carefully and cautiously about things. For some reason it makes me really really logical even though physically, I am retarded.
Well, I am home and hungry. Fortunately I'm not hungover anything. My plans for today is just to eat, do laundry, go to Norman, go to the basketball thing and might play, then study for finals. School is pretty much over so I must finish strong. Ugh.. I taste the smoke in my mouth. Later
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
this sake taste pretty shitty, but it sure does warm the spirits!
Hi, I'm Tan. I was born in Oklahoma City on August 10th, 1989. I weighed a little over 8 lbs to a happy couple that finally reached the United States in 1988 after staying in a refuge in Malaysia and Phillipines. I grew up in Oklahoma City until about the age of five, when I moved to Yukon. Growing up I was known to be pretty smart but very quiet and timid. I was usually picked on. I tried to practice some sense of humor so I could have some kind of friends so I could feel like I belong. Even at home I did not receive much attention because my parents were always busy working. I occasionally got in trouble for talking a lot at school because I yearn for attention.
My parents finally had another child. This child was my brother. He received great attention. He was good looking, he was born on the right year, at the right time. He brought fortune and prosperity to the family because the books said so and because of ancient Chinese beliefs. I was an accident adding to the fact I could not help that I was born when I was born. I could not determine what to bring to the family. All that I knew was I brought unfortunate events and bad things to the family, according to my parents.
I grew up being scolded for everything and never got anything right. I always wanted to belong somewhere but I did hang out with the right friends in high school. They weren't bad or anything. Although they might have done bad things I was never influenced because I had the family name and reputation to maintain.
Through high school I was in and out of a relationship that lasts till who knows and I've matured so much. I should've never gotten into the relationship now that I think about it. I finally graduated high school and my parents were disappointed in me. They scolded me for not being the best and being the slacker I am. No one is more disappointed than I am.
College began and I am still in and out of this relationship that I hate at times. Why am I still in this relationship one might ask. I value relationships of any kind and I have a loyalty that I feel obligated to the other. I am emotionally attached and I am sorry I cannot help it. I try my best to improve relationships.
What I am trying to say is I can type all of this in like 5 minutes but I doubt anyone in my life even knew nearly all of this. This person I've been in a relationship doesn't even know enough about me to probably even type up a page of anything. This is pretty stupid but this is probably proving to myself that this person doesn't even know me and probably never really wanted to know me or understand me. It is probably my fault that I am not a talker but it is fine.
I've been trying to be happier and more optimistic this semester but it's so hard. Do you know that feeling when you lose something you just keep losing stuff? I lost my scholarship money this semester that I was so dependent on. I finally got over it because it is just money afterall. I recently got a job to cover that problem but there are still problems. I lose my treasured necklace my dad bought for me in Vietnam. I recently lost probably the most important friend/friendship/relationship of my life as of now and Tuesday I lost my phone. Some of these things scale differently but it is still shitty how I try my best to forget the previous things and things just keep fucking pop out of no where.
Damn it, I am just so fucking.. want to let go of it all!!
My parents finally had another child. This child was my brother. He received great attention. He was good looking, he was born on the right year, at the right time. He brought fortune and prosperity to the family because the books said so and because of ancient Chinese beliefs. I was an accident adding to the fact I could not help that I was born when I was born. I could not determine what to bring to the family. All that I knew was I brought unfortunate events and bad things to the family, according to my parents.
I grew up being scolded for everything and never got anything right. I always wanted to belong somewhere but I did hang out with the right friends in high school. They weren't bad or anything. Although they might have done bad things I was never influenced because I had the family name and reputation to maintain.
Through high school I was in and out of a relationship that lasts till who knows and I've matured so much. I should've never gotten into the relationship now that I think about it. I finally graduated high school and my parents were disappointed in me. They scolded me for not being the best and being the slacker I am. No one is more disappointed than I am.
College began and I am still in and out of this relationship that I hate at times. Why am I still in this relationship one might ask. I value relationships of any kind and I have a loyalty that I feel obligated to the other. I am emotionally attached and I am sorry I cannot help it. I try my best to improve relationships.
What I am trying to say is I can type all of this in like 5 minutes but I doubt anyone in my life even knew nearly all of this. This person I've been in a relationship doesn't even know enough about me to probably even type up a page of anything. This is pretty stupid but this is probably proving to myself that this person doesn't even know me and probably never really wanted to know me or understand me. It is probably my fault that I am not a talker but it is fine.
I've been trying to be happier and more optimistic this semester but it's so hard. Do you know that feeling when you lose something you just keep losing stuff? I lost my scholarship money this semester that I was so dependent on. I finally got over it because it is just money afterall. I recently got a job to cover that problem but there are still problems. I lose my treasured necklace my dad bought for me in Vietnam. I recently lost probably the most important friend/friendship/relationship of my life as of now and Tuesday I lost my phone. Some of these things scale differently but it is still shitty how I try my best to forget the previous things and things just keep fucking pop out of no where.
Damn it, I am just so fucking.. want to let go of it all!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
BooOoOO
It has been a busy week. What I've done the last week feels like a long time ago, but it is just because time flies..
Last weekend was basketball tourney. Sunday I was about to leave home to go to Norman but Long asked me to play for his team because they didn't have enough players. I was like okay but it was really late notice. I went to go get gas but had to return my parents' credit card but then I had to pick up Tammy, also. We went to Edmond for the league. I took the long way but we got there eventually i got to play a little of first half. I played for 2nd half also. I stayed and watched.
Later that night I got some McD's iced coffee with Tammy and we stayed up all night studying and messing around on the computer. I felt pretty good the next day though. That coffee kept me awake though. Monday was the beginning of Phi Delta Alpha's Lupus week.. I don't remember Monday much. I had chapter later that day. Oh yeah, it was Maggie Moo's ice cream thing for Lupus. I had a strawberry skydive. it was pretty gooood.
Tuesday was free lunch in south oval for Lupus thing. I got some food as I walked to Pho Sooner for first day of work. It was pretty easy and laid back but because it was slow that day and it was my first day. Afterwards I went to soccer field to play some soccer to get ready for Wednesday. I forgot my necklace there and lost it. Oh yeah, there was VSA elections and congratulations to Victor and Trammy and all the others that won their desired positions.
Wednesday i had class then I went to work then went to class. I had Asian Olympics: Soccer afterwards. We won our first game but lost the rest. The 2nd game was a good game. I had plenty of opportunities to score but just couldn't finish. Last game we were winning but they caught up and we missed a PK. It came down to sudden death which was PK. We lost PK by one. It was quite disappointing.
Thursday I had class and work. There was AASA officer elections that day. Congratulations to everyone. After that went to IM field to watch Quang and the OU soccer team play. It was the very end but it was exciting and interesting, indeed. Some guy fouled Quang pretty bad and received a red card. The guy got angry at the ref and was grabbing his shirt and the ref took it as a threat. He was telling people to call the police because he considered that as assault. The game ended and OU won. Yay. After that we went to AASA picnic thing and had water balloon fights and food. It was freezing and raining and stuff. We went to Pad Thai for Phi Delta Alpha's Lupus afterwards. We watched a movie later that night.
Friday was pretty cool. I just went to class and stuff. Well I didn't really go to Art class. I just went in and signed and left. I didn't feel like staying there. I hung out at the Phi Delta Alpha table at south oval for most of the time, playing with Nghia's longboard and riding this pink bicycle around. I went to class and had a talk with Professor Portwood. Gay. I went back to south oval afterwards and stayed for the raffle ticket drawings. After that I went to my dorm and packed for the exciting weekend.
We left for Eufaula at about 3:00 p.m. It was a very fun and interesting car ride. We sang Vietnamese songs in Long's new car and stopped by a nice looking McDonald's in Shawnee. It was fun. We finally arrived at our cabin at like 5:15 p.m. or later, I don't remember. We checked out the place.. all I have to say is.. fucking CREEPY. We went fishing afterwards. Johnny and I went netting for minnows as bait. Damn, fishing is fun.
Later that night we grilled stuff, played poker, watched movies, played drinking games and other stuff. I fell asleep pretty early but people stayed up late fishing and stuff. The next morning I woke up and went fishing. I had my shirt off and went netting for minnows and fishing. I took my shirt off because I didn't want a farmer's tan but we're fucking stupid for not having sunblock. I got dark real quick and now my skin burns!!!
We fished until noon-ish and a couple people went home. I stayed until like 6 or 7 after playing poker and watching TV. Some of the guys were staying there until Sunday morning. I went back to Norman and went back to Mustang. Yeah... pretty much it.
Today I went to the mall and watched a movie with Paulinna. She didn't like the movie... Well, today I will be going to Norman soon. Actually I will be going to Edmond for the basketball league I think. This week will be pretty busy too I believe. GAH SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!! I must finish strong. Good luck to everyone!!!! and sorry Loan I didn't make it to your birthday thing... sorry for long post. Thanks for reading!
Last weekend was basketball tourney. Sunday I was about to leave home to go to Norman but Long asked me to play for his team because they didn't have enough players. I was like okay but it was really late notice. I went to go get gas but had to return my parents' credit card but then I had to pick up Tammy, also. We went to Edmond for the league. I took the long way but we got there eventually i got to play a little of first half. I played for 2nd half also. I stayed and watched.
Later that night I got some McD's iced coffee with Tammy and we stayed up all night studying and messing around on the computer. I felt pretty good the next day though. That coffee kept me awake though. Monday was the beginning of Phi Delta Alpha's Lupus week.. I don't remember Monday much. I had chapter later that day. Oh yeah, it was Maggie Moo's ice cream thing for Lupus. I had a strawberry skydive. it was pretty gooood.
Tuesday was free lunch in south oval for Lupus thing. I got some food as I walked to Pho Sooner for first day of work. It was pretty easy and laid back but because it was slow that day and it was my first day. Afterwards I went to soccer field to play some soccer to get ready for Wednesday. I forgot my necklace there and lost it. Oh yeah, there was VSA elections and congratulations to Victor and Trammy and all the others that won their desired positions.
Wednesday i had class then I went to work then went to class. I had Asian Olympics: Soccer afterwards. We won our first game but lost the rest. The 2nd game was a good game. I had plenty of opportunities to score but just couldn't finish. Last game we were winning but they caught up and we missed a PK. It came down to sudden death which was PK. We lost PK by one. It was quite disappointing.
Thursday I had class and work. There was AASA officer elections that day. Congratulations to everyone. After that went to IM field to watch Quang and the OU soccer team play. It was the very end but it was exciting and interesting, indeed. Some guy fouled Quang pretty bad and received a red card. The guy got angry at the ref and was grabbing his shirt and the ref took it as a threat. He was telling people to call the police because he considered that as assault. The game ended and OU won. Yay. After that we went to AASA picnic thing and had water balloon fights and food. It was freezing and raining and stuff. We went to Pad Thai for Phi Delta Alpha's Lupus afterwards. We watched a movie later that night.
Friday was pretty cool. I just went to class and stuff. Well I didn't really go to Art class. I just went in and signed and left. I didn't feel like staying there. I hung out at the Phi Delta Alpha table at south oval for most of the time, playing with Nghia's longboard and riding this pink bicycle around. I went to class and had a talk with Professor Portwood. Gay. I went back to south oval afterwards and stayed for the raffle ticket drawings. After that I went to my dorm and packed for the exciting weekend.
We left for Eufaula at about 3:00 p.m. It was a very fun and interesting car ride. We sang Vietnamese songs in Long's new car and stopped by a nice looking McDonald's in Shawnee. It was fun. We finally arrived at our cabin at like 5:15 p.m. or later, I don't remember. We checked out the place.. all I have to say is.. fucking CREEPY. We went fishing afterwards. Johnny and I went netting for minnows as bait. Damn, fishing is fun.
Later that night we grilled stuff, played poker, watched movies, played drinking games and other stuff. I fell asleep pretty early but people stayed up late fishing and stuff. The next morning I woke up and went fishing. I had my shirt off and went netting for minnows and fishing. I took my shirt off because I didn't want a farmer's tan but we're fucking stupid for not having sunblock. I got dark real quick and now my skin burns!!!
We fished until noon-ish and a couple people went home. I stayed until like 6 or 7 after playing poker and watching TV. Some of the guys were staying there until Sunday morning. I went back to Norman and went back to Mustang. Yeah... pretty much it.
Today I went to the mall and watched a movie with Paulinna. She didn't like the movie... Well, today I will be going to Norman soon. Actually I will be going to Edmond for the basketball league I think. This week will be pretty busy too I believe. GAH SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!! I must finish strong. Good luck to everyone!!!! and sorry Loan I didn't make it to your birthday thing... sorry for long post. Thanks for reading!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
whoopdy Doo
this school year is coming to an end.. this semester went by REALLY fast. I've been studying for my ZOO exam 3. Hopefully I do better this time. Finals are coming soon.. REAL soon.
This last week hasn't been much. I'm sure there was something but I don't quite remember..
Played some soccer. aKDPhi sisterhood date thing at Rudy's. Um some meetings.. Oh yeah, I got advised! haha wahoo! but my enrollment thing won't open until the 29th. Oh well.
Friday was Stanley's surprise birthday thingy. Saturday was TKO and VSA basketball tourney.. I played in it. We lost all our games.. but I personally did well. so =) for that. Today the tourney is still going on but I'm not there because I'm at home.
Oh yeah, I have a job at Pho Sooner. It should be interesting because it has been so long since I've worked. As for the IT job, I don't know. I really want it but.. oh well. We'll see how the summer turns out.
This coming week will be ZOO test, work, maybe soccer and flag football Asian Olympics, Phi Delta Alpha's Lupus Week.. and.... BROTHERHOOD thingy. It should be fun. Hmm.. there might be other stuff but I don't remember.
I need a place to stay this summer. Still thinking about Julie's place. I'd stay at home in Mustang but now I have a job and taking classes.. so yeah. Oh well. I'll just drive a lot more, but I don't mind if i have money for gas.
OH yeah, i play WoW again but it is kind of hard to find time to play as much as I want..
This last week hasn't been much. I'm sure there was something but I don't quite remember..
Played some soccer. aKDPhi sisterhood date thing at Rudy's. Um some meetings.. Oh yeah, I got advised! haha wahoo! but my enrollment thing won't open until the 29th. Oh well.
Friday was Stanley's surprise birthday thingy. Saturday was TKO and VSA basketball tourney.. I played in it. We lost all our games.. but I personally did well. so =) for that. Today the tourney is still going on but I'm not there because I'm at home.
Oh yeah, I have a job at Pho Sooner. It should be interesting because it has been so long since I've worked. As for the IT job, I don't know. I really want it but.. oh well. We'll see how the summer turns out.
This coming week will be ZOO test, work, maybe soccer and flag football Asian Olympics, Phi Delta Alpha's Lupus Week.. and.... BROTHERHOOD thingy. It should be fun. Hmm.. there might be other stuff but I don't remember.
I need a place to stay this summer. Still thinking about Julie's place. I'd stay at home in Mustang but now I have a job and taking classes.. so yeah. Oh well. I'll just drive a lot more, but I don't mind if i have money for gas.
OH yeah, i play WoW again but it is kind of hard to find time to play as much as I want..
Saturday, April 5, 2008
well I'd punch you if I could
Well.. I miss writing in these things. It is always good to have something to talk about.
This last week.. was the Wii tournament. It actually felt like a long time ago but I believe it WAS this past week. Andy and Vinh came down and played basketball. I've also been working out with Andy.
Friday we had a TKO thing. Hung out at CT's afterwards then I went to my dorm.
Today (saturday) was Big Event. We painted a park in Yukon. It was a park I never new existed. How weird but it was fun talking to Thinh and Danny. We went to Golden Palace afterwards.
At Golden Palace I didn't plan to eat but then when everyone was about to leave i began eating. The crawfish seemed good and I began to get hungry. I went home afterwards and took a long, long nap.
I woke up finally at 8 or 9 or something and showered then went to Diana's birthday thing.
Afterwards I drove to Norman to Tim's party. I was feeling really upset so I sped all the way to Norman. I kept contemplating if I should go or not. I went to go get gas on Council then drove home then busted a U then just he headed to Norman with the radio really loud.
I was in Norman then Tim said the party was a "bust". i exited on Robinson and headed home with the radio home. I kept thinking on the drive how upset I was. Right now I am home..
I really am really upset recently. I don't really have much to be happy for.. or at least that is how I am feeling. People may wonder what I think or am feeling at times but I just don't feel it would do any good.
I kind of hate girls right now. You don't have to lie to me about stuff. If I am having a bad day I don't ask you to make me happy or anything. All I ask is you don't f'ing yell at me at everytime we're on the phone or something and accuse me of things.
If I ask you something you don't have to lie to me. I only came over because your sister invited me. So when I come over don't ask me what I'm doing there because I was invited. Stop being fake and talk to me like I am stupid when we're in front of people when you act complete different when we're alone. I don't want to go through this shit anymore. We've been through this for too long.
Every year it would be the same cycle. We do care for each other but it doesn't mean you should take advantage of me. You always leave me when you find something better at the moment and always come back and beg me. I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT.
How do I tell you how I feel knowing that you will really understand when I tell you so many times and you just don't get it. How can we have conversations when I can't even tell you something so simple.
I feel like I've sacrificed so much just to "be" with you. People think I am a horrible person for thinking the way I think but If only they felt the way I feel! All I ask is for you to be real and show you care if you really do.
..and for you. I'm sorry if I offended you. I thought we were close. Nevermind..
This last week.. was the Wii tournament. It actually felt like a long time ago but I believe it WAS this past week. Andy and Vinh came down and played basketball. I've also been working out with Andy.
Friday we had a TKO thing. Hung out at CT's afterwards then I went to my dorm.
Today (saturday) was Big Event. We painted a park in Yukon. It was a park I never new existed. How weird but it was fun talking to Thinh and Danny. We went to Golden Palace afterwards.
At Golden Palace I didn't plan to eat but then when everyone was about to leave i began eating. The crawfish seemed good and I began to get hungry. I went home afterwards and took a long, long nap.
I woke up finally at 8 or 9 or something and showered then went to Diana's birthday thing.
Afterwards I drove to Norman to Tim's party. I was feeling really upset so I sped all the way to Norman. I kept contemplating if I should go or not. I went to go get gas on Council then drove home then busted a U then just he headed to Norman with the radio really loud.
I was in Norman then Tim said the party was a "bust". i exited on Robinson and headed home with the radio home. I kept thinking on the drive how upset I was. Right now I am home..
I really am really upset recently. I don't really have much to be happy for.. or at least that is how I am feeling. People may wonder what I think or am feeling at times but I just don't feel it would do any good.
I kind of hate girls right now. You don't have to lie to me about stuff. If I am having a bad day I don't ask you to make me happy or anything. All I ask is you don't f'ing yell at me at everytime we're on the phone or something and accuse me of things.
If I ask you something you don't have to lie to me. I only came over because your sister invited me. So when I come over don't ask me what I'm doing there because I was invited. Stop being fake and talk to me like I am stupid when we're in front of people when you act complete different when we're alone. I don't want to go through this shit anymore. We've been through this for too long.
Every year it would be the same cycle. We do care for each other but it doesn't mean you should take advantage of me. You always leave me when you find something better at the moment and always come back and beg me. I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT.
How do I tell you how I feel knowing that you will really understand when I tell you so many times and you just don't get it. How can we have conversations when I can't even tell you something so simple.
I feel like I've sacrificed so much just to "be" with you. People think I am a horrible person for thinking the way I think but If only they felt the way I feel! All I ask is for you to be real and show you care if you really do.
..and for you. I'm sorry if I offended you. I thought we were close. Nevermind..
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