i miss that feeling.

do you ever feel like everything is unreal? like your life, you aren't really living it. you aren't alive. you're just seeing through the eyes. unreal, kind of like "the matrix".

do you ever feel like you've done something before, or you lived the same moment before. kind of like de ja vu but not exactly. like, there are moments that you feel like "man, if i could do this again, i would so do it differently." but then this feeling i'm talking about is the event is happening for the 2nd or whatever and it feels like you have chosen the same path, made the same decision. do you understand?

can't help but think if i've ever really loved. love is such an ambiguous term.. varied understandings.. if I loved you, and you loved me.. are we feeling the same thing? are we in love? if from time A to time B, i loved you and you didnt love me, and from time C to time D you loved me and i didnt love you, and time B to time C was blank, were we in love from time A to time D?

i am meant for something so much greater.. something big.. do you feel that way? where do i start..? where do i start? i need that initial spark of inspiration light my wick of motivation and stir my flame of passion.. and just let my wax melt.. and melt.. and melt.. let it be felt by the world.