if you just realize..

Well, well.. finals are over. I think I did good except for one. Blah.. Finals are over, which means the semester is over. I think I've ended this semester in an okay way. It would've been great if not for stuff, but it is okay.

This last week was just cramming time for finals I guess. I finally got paid, so wahoo! It doesn't matter because I work for a reason to pay off a debt. So last weekend I did something I knew I shouldn't have done but it made me feel better for that moment but now it will ruin a relationship with someone I feel is close with and I care about, but it is okay. At least I won't see anyone for a while...

I've also picked up this hobbie. Err, a rather unhealthy hobbie. Parties have been coming and stuff and I've got into this smoking thing which I used to think is rather stupid but I still think is stupid. It is not the first time I've smoked something but I actually kind of enjoy it. I call it a hobbie because I only do it once in a while and it is not a habit. At least it isn't, yet. I don't think it will be a habit because I have it in control so don't worry. I am aware how unattractive it is to females but I don't really care, because I don't impress people for anything.

Why do I smoke? I don't really know. It is just when a bunch of guys together talking and drinking about stuff it is a stimulant or something that causes us to bond. It is really nice, but only once in a while! I also find it very poetic and sentimental for some reason. It is also symbolic. I think I thought of this when I was halfway drunk but.. yeah. I think smoking represents a relationship with women. A cigarette looks nice or whatever like a woman would or whatever. It just looks cool. It might smell nice, referring to a Black and Mild or a cigar, so I guess you might smell it or play around with it in your hand. I guess this refers to when a man is interested in a woman and just talks or flirts with her and/or even dating.

So when does the relationship begin? The relationship begins when you light the cigarette or cigar or whatever. This is when both has acknowledged the relationship is about to begin. Once you put your lips on the butt, my man, you have committed yourself to a relationship. You thought it was going to be nice, didn't you? First, it is exciting. It is weird. It is new. You must know that the more you inhale, the faster you are dying. She enters your soul, blackens your lungs, and demands from you. Some days you realize you must give up but some days you can't give her up.

Some men settle for cigarettes, regualar or lite (the fun and spontaneous, maybe even slutty), some settle for the menthol (refreshing and minty), some settle for cigars (the high class, sophisticated and refined, and long-lasting), and some settle for cigarillos, which are better than cigarettes but not yet a cigar, because you don't want the commonness of the cigarette but you can't afford the cigar. Some men settle for cigarettes that are longer. All that they are doing is just having the same slutty poison but having her stick around for a little longer.

So you might wonder, "when do i find the right one for me? The one that will be by myside until we grow old together?" Well, I believe the one you stay with is the one that you will die smoking. Let's hope it is a nice Cuban cigar.

So enough of the smoking thing. I smoke because sometimes I feel lonely and it is nice to relax and look at the sky. So yes, I am done with finals and now I am home drinking my smart water i bought from Xcetera with my leftover points. Where was I? I'll just talk about how I ended my school semester. So Tony has been asking me to go to Dallas with him and loan, CT, and Tim. I agreed at first but later there were stuff that made me think twice and made me uncertain but I ended up going because Tony paid for everything ;).

I am pretty glad I went but for some reason whenever I go on trips it always gets ruined because my dad calls or something and I am just mopey. Luckily for me, I was with a group of great people that I love. First we went to the hotel to check in and then we went to go eat at Bistro B's. I had the red rice thingy with cubed beef looking thing and I got a coconut jelly dessert thing. Afterwards we went to Dave and Buster's and it was pretty cool there. There are video games and beer, man! Well, drinking for older folks of course. There was this basketball shooting game thing that I was playing that I liked but then later all these kids came and kept hogging it. Oh well.. we got a bunch of tickets though. We got all these tickets because Tony is awesome at this one game and yeah. HAHA. Right. It was nice though because I saw some pretty white girls there but too bad they're probably in high school.. hahaha.

Afterwards we went to the best part of the night.. KOREAN KARAOKE BAR! At first, it looks like this ghetto warehouse thing but going inside, it is exactly how i've imagined it to be. There are all these korean people and these posters on the wall for sale. There is this little bar with alcohol. There are many private rooms for parties and stuff. There are two sofas and a little coffee table with a disco light going around and around. There were two binders with very updated songs that I amazed us. There were two microphones and this funky looking remote to selct your songs. We had a great time. Loan bought us beer and had a merry time. I noticed how Loan and Tony are so cute together. When Tony laughs and sings he reminds me of a little boy. Too bad there were so many songs we wanted to sing but we had to leave. It was a great time.

We went back to the hotel. I showered and slept on the small bed thing. It was pretty nice but I was cold the whole night because Tony turned on the a/c really high. The next morning we left before noon and headed home. We bought some McD's and yeah. We arrived in norman and I picked up my truck and took care of some business. I used up all my remaining meal points to buy drinks and junk food for home. So off to home I went.

This year has been a wild year. It's already been a year.. Attending college is a really different experience. It is really going to feel different not being the young one. I will actually feel like the one that belongs at college and all these people that will come in feeling all weird and stuff. I never really thought I would be in a fraternity. I came in not knowing what brotherhood is, but now I think if anyone ever needed to know what it is, I can't explain it but I could try. This brotherhood thing taught me how to be a better brother to my own little brother, which is weird but it is true. I've met the most awesome people in my life. They were strangers to me but we became bonded by a single cause.

It was really scary how my GPA sucked ass first semester. So much happened this year but it was a great experience. I never thought I would meet so many people. I never thought I would know so many people that cared for me, that aren't even in the fraternity. I never knew I would drink so much and get so trashed. I never knew I could dance. There are so many memories.. so many memories. Thanks Tau Kappa Omega.

Congratulations to Long and Tony. I'll be at your graduation tomorrow. OFF TO PADRE ON SUNDAY!!!